God Clarifies 'Don't Kill' Rule - Still Relevant

In 2001 The Onion published "God Angrily Clarifies 'Don't Kill' Rule." Sadly, nine years later it's still relevant. Killing or injuring someone because of their religion -- or yours -- is just not right.

Take a few moments to read this ... it's worth the time.

Responding to recent events on Earth, God, the omniscient creator-deity worshipped by billions of followers of various faiths for more than 6,000 years, angrily clarified His longtime stance against humans killing each other Monday.

"Look, I don't know, maybe I haven't made myself completely clear, so for the record, here it is again," said the Lord, His divine face betraying visible emotion during a press conference near the site of the fallen Twin Towers. "Somehow, people keep coming up with the idea that I want them to kill their neighbor. Well, I don't. And to be honest, I'm really getting sick and tired of it. Get it straight. Not only do I not want anybody to kill anyone, but I specifically commanded you not to, in really simple terms that anybody ought to be able to understand."

Worshipped by Christians, Jews, and Muslims alike, God said His name has been invoked countless times over the centuries as a reason to kill in what He called "an unending cycle of violence."

"I don't care how holy somebody claims to be," God said. "If a person tells you it's My will that they kill someone, they're wrong. Got it? I don't care what religion you are, or who you think your enemy is, here it is one more time: No killing, in My name or anyone else's, ever again."

Obama on 3 a.m. phone calls if elected

Does this sound familiar?

MATTHEWS: Let me give you a scene that may face you in the next year or two, where the national security adviser calls you at 3:00 in the morning and tells that you a couple of jet—commercial jets have been hijacked. And they believe it is al Qaeda. And, as we know, al Qaeda always tries a second time. They tried for the World Trade Center after ‘93. They came back in ‘01.

They’re heading for the Capitol. What do you do?

OBAMA: Well, look, I am hesitant to engage in hypotheticals like that, because...

MATTHEWS: But it has been predictable.

OBAMA: Oh, well, the—I don’t think anybody predicted 9/11. And, so, we don’t know what kinds of circumstances are going to come up.

Maybe because we've heard it here:

DR. CONDOLEEZZA RICE: "... I don't think anybody could have predicted that these people would take an airplane and slam it into the World Trade Center, take another one and slam it into the Pentagon; that they would try to use an airplane as a missile, a hijacked airplane as a missile."

What was Obama thinking? The 9/11 Commission discredited Rice's comment, and Kristen Breitweiser at Huffington Post reminds us about "the August 6, 2001 Presidential Daily Briefing titled, "Bin Laden Determined to Strike in the U.S."

As I've said before, Obama is clearly not ready for prime time.

A day of mourning

The attack on September 11 destroyed more than we could have imagined. Nearly 3000 people perished that day. In the ensuing years we've seen the decimation of our Constitution as well.

Has the Patriot Act made us safer, or simply less free?

And then there is Iraq. A war based on lies, that has now cost as many lives as the attacks in 2001.

Gen. David H. Petraeus, the top American commander in Iraq, delivered his report to Congress on Monday. Questioning continues today.

During questioning, Rep. Gary L. Ackerman, Democrat of New York, suggested the war in Iraq was not integral to the anti-terror effort.

“Isn’t it true, General, that Al Qaeda in Iraq formed in 2005, two years after we first got there?” pressed Mr. Ackerman.

“Congressman, I’m not saying when it started,” the military commander said. “I’m saying merely that Al Qaeda-Iraq clearly is part of the overall greater Al Qaeda network.”

That could be true General, but it's also true that Iraq had nothing to do with the attacks on September 11, and Al Qaeda-Iraq may never have formed had we not invaded the country.

Now we appear close to invading Iran. We must not allow this administration to take us further down a dark hole.